Paradise...

"I will glory in my Redeemer,
Who carries me on eagles' wings.
He crowns my life with loving kindness.
His triumph song I'll ever sing.
I will glory in my Redeemer,
Who waits for me at gates of gold!
And when He calls me, it will be paradise,
His face forever to behold!
His face forever to behold!"

-- from "I Will Glory in My Redeemer," Sovereign Grace Music


If you were like me, you grew up with mixed emotions about heaven. You were told that it was a wonderful place...not just wonderful, but perfect. You saw the pictures in your Children's Bible of a shining city made of gold under a golden sky with gold-tinted angels traversing streets paved with, yes...gold. You knew that if you were saved, you would get to go to this place when you died and live there forever. But wait...forever?

That's when the doubts would start to creep in. Forever? Really? What exactly will we be doing forever? Even now, my feeble human brain cannot begin to wrap itself around the concept of eternity, and for that very reason, I tend to find it terrifying.

On this side of heaven, we are finite beings living in a finite world. We are unable to comprehend eternity. Humankind is also marked with a distinct fear of the unknown. What is this eternity, anyhow? What is heaven like? We're told it's perfect, but we're not so sure. Of course, we know it's much better than the alternative, but if we'll be spending eternity there, wouldn't it get...who knows...old?

This is where I've been, but this is where God calls us to trust Him. How foolish it is of me to even begin to think that I might know a better plan for myself than God! Of course, this really is an area where we all have to trust that God's knows best and that His heaven is unlike anything we could ever imagine and the most perfect place for us to spend eternity. Why is this trusting so hard for some of us?

I think it's often because of these "artist's renditions" of heaven we see so often. The angels packing harps and wafting about amongst puffy white clouds. The shiny gold city where everything is that same shade of gold that, let's face it, looks rather unattractive. Even the idea of worshipping God forever...our sinful minds have a hard enough time authentically worshipping God here on earth for half an hour...but forever? Does God really know what He's doing here?

For one thing, we must remind ourselves these "ideas" of heaven we have are nothing...absolutely nothing like what God has in store for us. When are free from our feeble bodies and sinful hearts/minds, just imagine that! We can't even comprehend it now, but I seriously doubt we'll be bored in the presence of the Living God.

Also, in a book I was reading today, I saw an interesting quote from a Scottish theologian named Donald Macleod. On the subject of heaven, he writes:

"Paradise was no mere seminary where Adam and Eve whiled away the hours in
theological discussion. I'm sure they did that, and that they did it with more
relish than any of my students. But Eden offered scope for art, science, and
technology as well as theology. The same will doubtless be true of the world to
come. Bearing the image of the heavenly, we shall explore, colonise, serve, keep
and enhance our magnificent environment [...] The scenario is a thrilling one:
brilliant minds in powerful bodies in a transformed universe. With energy,
dexterity, and athleticism here undreamed of, we shall explore horizons beyond
our wildest imaginings."

We're told in John that there will be no physical temple in the New Jerusalem. It will be everywhere because God will be everywhere! Worship won't just be confined to our idea of sitting in pews singing songs, our every action will be, in essence, worship of our King. Everything we undertake will truly be bringing glory and honor to Him. Now that is a beautiful picture...

I don't know about you, but I can't wait!

Filling the Holes...

"Teach me to believe that if ever I would have any sin subdued
I must not only labour to overcome it,
but must invite Christ to abide in the place of it,
and he must become to me more than vile lust had been;
that his sweetness, power, life may be there." -- The Valley of Vision


How true! Something the Lord has been showing me recently is that there is a whole different side of sin that we rarely think about, one that I would say is even darker than the obvious. Of course, sins are sins. Pretty straight-forward.

But what about those little "pet sins" we all hold? I say "little," but we all know how big they really are and the havoc they can wreak in our lives. These sins, whatever they may be, are wrong simply because the Bible says so, right? Whether they fall in the realm of arrogance, lying, gossip, laziness, purity, addictions, or any other variety, the Bible tells us these are sins and that they are wrong. That is good enough, right? However, what are the indirect implications of these sins?

When I hold onto one of these sins, when I find my comfort in that sin, I am not holding onto Christ, and I am not finding my comfort in Him. As dark as these sins are in and of themselves, and as much pain they already cause, how much worse it is that by having these habitual sins we're in essence replacing our Savior!

I have struggled for so long to find that midway point between letting sin go unchecked and trying to fix things myself. I've heard "give it to God." You know, I've even taught about "giving it to God." Rely on His strength. When we try to fix our sins ourself, we just make things worse or become arrogant. I've known this in my head, but in my heart, I've desperately searched for how to actually do this. When I stop trying to do things myself, sin goes unchecked. When I resolve to remove the sin, I do it my own way and fail. I want to give it to God...but how?

This passage from Valley of Vision that I read today put it in a way that I've never really thought before. It's not just removing the sin that's the problem. That just leaves a vacuum. Sure, I can remove a sin from my life, and all by myself. But it's only temporary, because there is a huge hole left that my sin is all-to-eager to fill back up for me. It's not a matter of will-power. It's where I go to fill the holes in my life.

Removing a sin makes no difference if I never fill that hole with something that will last and transform. That hole must be filled with Christ. It takes thought. Instead of just saying, "this sin is bad. I should stop doing this sin," I need to think, "why do I commit this sin? what am I trying to accomplish with this sin?" That identifies one of the "holes" in my life. Once that hole is identified, it needs to be filled with Christ.

Of course, I know this is not as easy as it sounds at first, and I will have to rely on Him as I try to make this radical readjustment in the way I look at sin. It'll take a change in habits. One habit replaced with another, a righteous habit.

This may not seem that profound to some of you, and that's awesome. But for me, this is a brand-new realization and understanding. Isn't it amazing how God works to show us these things?

My life just got a little simpler...

Stephen Moss for Junior Class President?

After a hard-fought campaign, my reelection bid for class president has fallen short. However, unlike another time I lost reelection to a student government office back in high school (we shan't dredge that one up again), I'm actually okay with this. Oh, of course I wanted to be class president again. I mean, I wouldn't have run otherwise. But I won't say my competitive nature didn't have anything to do with it. :-)

In fact, this may have been God's way of letting me know I'm doing too much. What with being the Samford Ministries Choir Tour Officer, RUF leadership team, oh yeah, and classes too, I have more than enough to keep me occupied. And now, wonder of wonders, I actually have a night off during the week! Now the question is if I'll actually make good use of that night off...jury's still out on that one.

Tonight, the group o' friends is over here at James for our weekly dinner-in. Still not quite the same as it was over in Ramsay, but that's not really what's important. I have really enjoyed this semester so far. It's funny; I've only known these people for two years, but it seems like so much longer. I have been so blessed with so many wonderful friends here at Samford, and I am enjoying spending time with them this year. I have so much to be thankful for.

Tomorrow, Lee, Josh, Bryan, and I are off to Oxford, MS to watch Samford take on Ole Miss. A blow-out, you say? Possibly...but hey, we'll still have fun. And then Sunday morning I'll be headed back to Faith PCA. I've tried both Faith and Altadena Valley PCA now after making the decision to find another church besides Briarwood, and I really think Faith is where I want to wind up. It's just a little smaller than Briarwood (okay, a lot smaller), and I like the idea of being able to get a little closer involved with a church family. Being from a smaller church back in Panama City, I just feel much more at home in a smaller church. I do still love Briarwood though... :-)

Overall, I think it will be quite a nice weekend. It's been a good one already! :-)

-- Stephen

A New Blog

Well, this has been quite a waste of time...

I decided earlier this evening that it was about time for me to start "blogging" again (as if my previous Xanga experiences constitute serious blogging). I greatly enjoy writing, and my time spent on the computer used to at least be spent doing something semi-useful like writing about my life, being creative, etc. Nowadays, my time spent on the computer is consumed by the likes of Facebook, which squelches personal expression and (with the exception of the useless Notes application) limits its participants to mindless games and fake interaction. I don't mean to hate on facebook. It really can be a good thing, and it's much better than MySpace. (I still feel like I need to take a shower after I log on to MySpace...it's just...sketchy?) However, with this much-ballyhooed yet much-maligned "new facebook" that's being forced upon us, I'm feeling especially cynical towards this social networking site on steroids.

So that brings me to tonight, as I decide to pick up the habit of blog writing once again. How should I go about this though? I first got this Blogger account. But what to do with it? For those of us without much web design knowledge, we're pretty much restrained to the pre-packaged themes. And a title? You want me to come up with a title? Something original, I suppose...times like this, it would be nice to be an English major. (What am I saying?)

So then I return to the old stomping grounds...Xanga. It was like returning home from college and finding your parents had turned your old room into an office. I didn't even recognize it, let alone could I figure how to use the blasted thing. I couldn't get any of the themes to work or look right (it used to be so easy!), and then there are basically 20,000 new gizmos and doo-dads that made me feel ancient and old-fashioned already at a mere 20 years of age.

And so I am back to Blogger. At least it's simple? ish? However, I am still frustrated. My entire evening has been consumed trying to figure out something that used to be so simple. So this blog will not be all flashy and exciting. It will simply be a means to express my thoughts and maybe post the occasional picture. I'm actually pretty excited. I haven't done this in a while. It's a nice habit to get into. I find writing, especially about what's going on in my life, to be therapeutic in a sense. Many times, I'll start writing about a problem. and by the end, I will have it all worked out. (For many of you, this will explain why my emails are often the length of short novels).

Is this blog intended for other people to read? Eh? Sure? Why not...hey, if you care enough to read this thing, more power to you! But this is mainly for me. Some good therapeutic blogging... :-) Also, as the title I finally decided upon suggests, this will be a way for me to document the providence that God shows in my life, even just on a day-to-day basis. I will not even begin to try to compete with Anna B's blog, though...that is art. :-)

Well, that is about it for now. I have spent far too much time on this already tonight.

G'night,

Stephen